after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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