I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
