scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
