random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
