I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
