At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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