I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
