He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can I color on your dick again?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
