It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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