Michael Bay diarrhea
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I party with great urgency now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
