I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
