38 yer olds are good kisserssss
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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