so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When are your genitals available?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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