I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
