he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
