Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
