What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize