I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
