I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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