Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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