That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
