a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
