I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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