Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
