I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
