it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
