Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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