Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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