Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
