i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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