yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
