i would punch a child for taco bell
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
