I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
