i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
