We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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