I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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