is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
