By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
