Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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