What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
