I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
