Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
