Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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