when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
