We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
