porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
