btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
