I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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