So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
