So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
